Thanks for hurting me...
I remember watching Oprah once and her guest was Shirley McClain. Oprah asked her who helped her and inspired her most on her spiritual journey. Her answer surprised me, she said the people that had hurt her the most, that they were the ones who helped her the most.
Wow, that was an "Oprah light bulb moment for me. Yes, I knew exactly what she was talking about! It is when you are at your lowest, in the darkest of places that you learn the most. You learn to rely on yourself and your faith. I know many times that while I was in the midst of pain, I couldn't see the lesson. I, like many of you, couldn't see past the next day, the next minute. It hurt so bad that you can't see past the next second, and it seems like the pain will never end.
For me as soon as I was hurt, I did the one thing I have done that had kept me going through all my bad times, I prayed. Yes, I prayed for the strength to get through this, to help me see why this had happened, to help me through the pain. I prayed for the lesson I needed to learn because to me there is always a lesson in your pain.
As the days go by and your pain turns into anger, you start questioning yourself, the person you trusted and maybe for some people, you even start to question your faith. Why did this happen to me? How could I be so stupid? If there was a God, how could he allow this to happen? Yeah, that's a big one, even for me at the lowest point of my life, I asked this.
Eventually you let go of the anger and this is where most people will do one of two things, either they will carry the hurt and pain and they will become untrusting and bitter or they will look for the lesson in the situation. I always chose to look for the lesson that God wants me to learn. What can I take away from this hurt and pain, that will teach me something for the next time.
When I got divorced I should have gotten alimony but didn't and I was hurt and angry. Why was it that after all these years that he got away with treating me so bad and here he was winning again? How could this be happening, I prayed, I went to church, I tried to always do the right thing, and this was so not fair!
When I got over myself and tried to look for a reason and a lesson why this happened, I realized that God wanted me to truly be independent. He wanted me to believe that I could do this, to be able to cut all ties with my ex, so that he would never again have anything to hold anything over my head and yet again he was right. I am so glad I can do this all on my own and that the only person I depend on now, is God.
When I dated Mr. Con Artist I asked what were the lessons this taught me? At first I couldn't see any, I was too hurt and angry. I kept asking myself, was I too trusting? I believed the best of people, okay, so am I too native?
No, what I realized is that the lessons were what I taught my daughters. That no matter what, you don't need a lying, cheating man, and that there are no second chances for that. You don't need a man who is not going to treat you like the queen you are.
I realized that I no longer needed a man to take care of me, to make me whole or complete me, I got this and I like myself too much to let anyone ever again treat me less than. I realized my true purpose, to write and inspire others, to be a voice, to call out injustice and fight for others that don't have the strength. Since realizing this my writing has never been better.
And to finally stop and listen to my inner voice, to feel one with my God and the universe and to know when something doesn't feel right, it's not. Listen and then take action. Pray and then be quiet so that you might feel his presence. It has taught me to know my faith can and will get me through anything life is going to throw at me. I needn't worry because even in the darkest hours I know that I had my faith and I believed it would all be okay.
Yes, these are incredible lessons I needed to learn and I am truly grateful, so yes, I want to thank you for lying, for cheating and for putting me through this pain, for without all of this I would have never learned these lessons.
So today my friends, look inside yourself, look at the people who have hurt you the most and then look for the lessons and thank them for helping you through your spiritual journey. But let me remind you, that it is not a spiritual journey if you refuse to look for the lessons. It will not teach you anything if you don't take the lessons and make a change. You will not grow if you do not forgive and move on. You need to say thank you for hurting me, I've learned the lessons, I forgive you and I am moving on. It is only then that you will be okay, when you can do all these things. I know it will sometimes feel impossible but trust and believe it is possible as long as you remember you are the captain of your own boat, and it's all up to you. @treadmilltreats
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