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Letter to myself: I was a star student in elementary school, but I had trouble making friends. I, I, I, I had a stuttering problem and was ashamed of it. It felt like no one liked me. I tried my hardest to make friends and talk to my classmates, but all I received in return was bullying. No one ever invited me over to their house and I got rejected by the girls I tried to talk to. I felt like a loser with no friends, and who would want to invite over or date a loser. I tried to be the class clown, but instead of laughs I just got laughed at. I told myself I was afraid of failure, of not being perfect, so I created failure for myself. This might have been partially true. But deep down, I knew I was just creating the loser that I felt like for long. Failing is what a loser does. When I failed, my parents calling me a loser didn’t help, but they were just confirming what I already knew and what I had proved to them I was. So, I continued to squander away my potential and prove to myself that I really was just a kid with no friends and no future, because losers don’t have futures, or friends for that matter. For years and years, through middle school, high school, and college that feeling never subsided and grew into severe depression. I knew that underneath that loser was something potentially great. Something that was worth sharing. But this cycle of trying and failing continued. I tried a little and failed. Then I tried even less and failed again, worse. It felt like I would never reach that potential I was constantly told I had. Failure after failure, I got more and more discouraged. It was eating me from the inside. I knew all I had to do was try a little harder, but I couldn’t anymore, and gave up completely. I was utterly paralyzed by fear. I went to counseling and tried to get help, but I was putting band-aids on a problem that needed surgery. I tried a little again and failed. I tried to watch videos on motivation, waiting for that one sentence that would change my life. Well, it never came, and I became angry and resentful toward my parents and my girlfriend even though she constantly told me I could do better. I never did, and she broke up with me. She said I will never reach my dreams. And she was right then. But. Not. Any. More. I’m done with feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t have that many friends. I’m done feeling like a loser. I’m done being paralyzed by the fear of failure. Failure is where greatness comes from and motivation lies in that fear. Failure has opportunity, and I have the courage to face it and grab those opportunities by the balls. I’m done being a coward. If someone makes you feel like a loser, or feel bad for failing, tell them to eat shit. Better yet, show them. Show them that you harnessed that fear and used it drive you, to push you forward not back. Show them the kindness that you never felt. And show them that you will never stop trying. Failing is not what a loser does. Failing and giving up is a what a loser does. And I will never fucking give up. [link] [comments] |
from Things that motivate you https://ift.tt/36WCq0r
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