What do I do when I want to give up? What's the main reason why we all want to give up? It's because we're feeling powerless. When something doesn't work out the way we want to, we all face consequences, and people allow consequences to take away their power. People cut themselves off from life because they're cowering away from consequences. People tend to think that we face consequences as punishment for something we did, and are afraid to live their lives because they don't want to be punished. But consequences don't always happen because we did something wrong. Consequences can happen when we're at the wrong place at the wrong time. Like in movie "Deliverance." Did Ned Betty deserve to get raped by the mountain men because he did something wrong? How about the Shack? Did the little girl deserve to get kidnapped by a child murderer? Did the father deserve to have his daughter taken away by that murderer?
What happens when we feel powerless? We tend to think it's the end of the world, but are secretly praying that some miracle will pull us out of that funk. Well what do we while we're waiting for that miracle to happen? Well I'll tell you what I did. When I was struggling with depression, I would lay on the couch with the TV on, food right by me, and surfing YouTube or social media, hoping I could find a clip that would give me magical words to lift me up, or that I could hit up a long distance friend through social media that would do the same.
Well what happens if we do find a movie on YouTube, or a social media friend that will give us words of encouragement, or tell us what we need to hear? Will we accept it, or just wait for when the time is right to act on it? You know what happens when we wait around for the right moment? All we're doing is just delaying and delaying. "next week, I'm gonna start giving up junk food." Okay, what are you gonna do in the meantime? Eat junk food? Why not do it now? "Because it's a holiday." Well why did you wait this long to make that decision? "I'll clean the kitchen tomorrow." Why not do it now? "I'm tired, I've had a long stressful day at work." Ok so what if tomorrow turns out to be another long, stressful at work, you gonna but it off the next day? What if you come home from a long, stressful day at work and later the house is on fire? You gonna wait till tomorrow to get out before you die?
Guys there's hardly ever a right moment for something to happen, and there's no miracle to solve all your problems. And nobody is gonna solve your problems. Yes it's true that when we are struggling, we all have resources to help us, like friends, family, support groups, and therapy, but you have to act on it. A car can have a full tank of gas, but it's not gonna get to it's destination if it stays parked.
So what do I do when I want to give up? I usually remind myself what I have that's at stake! You can't rely on motivation, you have to be disciplined to get things done, even if you don't want to. When I accomplish something, I regain some of my power. You also gotta realize that happiness and misery is a choice. If you choose to go with misery, who's gonna want to be around you? How will anything get done? How can anyone help you?
You know 3 years ago, I was in the worst depression phase of my life where I felt powerless and useless. But I learned over the years that being miserable is a habit, being happy is a habit, and only you can chose one. You gotta look at setbacks as blessings. There may be a lot of you who don't have much, but dwelling on that wont bring you more. Learn to be grateful for the little things.
That's what I have to say for any of those who are struggling and feel like giving up. Remember, it's all about self discipline, not motivation.
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