"Fate has left me with a fury, and in this I found you.”
-Me
I wrote that to myself, and stuck it on my bathroom mirror. Each day when I looked at myself, those thoughts resonated with me in ways that were so profoundly uncomfortable, I just had to write and share about the headspace I was in…
Defined and/or undefined, the evil that we’ve known is what we refuse to see, and as blissfully ignorant we could be, we stretch our arms while bending the will of your own trust barriers; why?! Because humans refuse to wrap their damn heads around moments between the why and what is truly wrong in this sick world. It is too simple to succumb to the embrace of warmth. Again-why!? Because that my friend is the human condition, stop fleeing from this disgustingly dark void that fills our empty souls with a passion to-want. I like you right now just wished I could turn it off. Bad news, you can’t...nor would I let you.
I wanted to be numb…aware but sedated. It is almost unbearable, right?!…like I was at the time, tearing at my own existence, ripping through the fabric of reality, until there is nothing but a shell of a person left. It’s a lot easier to live when not vulnerable. There is no one out there to hurt you, steal from you, rape you of your inspiration, and pervert what dignity was left. Isn't it easier to be? Here…in the now, present. They couldn't possibly understand what they demanded, could they? Who are these people I speak of? People that refuse to acknowledge or bear witness the pain underneath this porcelain skin that is shattered, with jagged edges still bloodied from the last onslaught, and hardly resembling ourselves. I meet you with the same broken smile and dead eyes greeting the world, and they don’t notice a damn thing. For all the wrong reasons, I wish I was like them…blissful.
That’s where I was, and by some ridiculous happenstance, you’re here with me, so sit down…shut up, stop speaking, "but I didn't..." Yes, you did. So turn that brain off for a moment and just listen:
“It’s not that it's difficult, so we do not dare,” rather let’s flip this statement… “It’s because we do not dare to _____ that things are difficult.” -Seneca
Go figure, the mind-f*ckery…let’s talk about that. If you’re anything like me, you’re waiting for the perfect set of circumstances to act…this moment, this time, this scenario, if only things could be at this position, that level of trust, that act? Sound familiar? Stop.
You don’t need courage, you don’t need a grounding set of principles, you don’t need a will to act, you don’t need motivation…what other empty noiseless words could I use to fill this page and try and get a message off that would create anything but wasted time to lick your wounds. Pour some salt in it, cauterize it, move on… No one is stopping you but yourself, you see the walls we built aren’t there to keep others out, they are built to stop you from taking chances and living our life.
I’m not without sympathy, I’ve been personally through more things than I care to even mention right now…and besides, it isn’t about me. This is about you, and your fortress of misery. So how do we do this? There’s a lot of verbiages and great ideas from some prolific minds out there, but I'll make it bearable without the sweet-talk. I’m personally someone who needed tough love, and I’d like to think this approach would work for you too. (Granted it may not, #sorrynotsorry…find someone else to enable your self-doubt and pity) I’m here for a straight, no-bs approach that’s easy to follow; these are the steps:
* Surreal visceral introspection (this is going to hurt like hell)
* Victimeze vs Ownish (Language barriers and thought processing)
* The one percentile (Doing what others won't, and measuring where you are vs where you could be)
* Sustainable Goals (Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, Time-based, and proven for success)
* A purpose bigger than yourself...(I'll explain this one in a few)
* Accountability (Does I really need to elaborate?)
What does all this mean and what are we going to do about it? These are tools to reinvent yourself and stop the “survivor’s paradox” that you are in. This is a very simple mindset:
"We don’t quit, give up, or refuse to take action. Fear- is a byproduct of your imagination, it is a consistently volatile emotional response without logic, which creates a-lack-of action. Fear is killing your mind…one tragic lost thought into the abyss at a time."
Though if you're here, then you’re a survivor, you’ve been through something that few people if at all, would care to understand. But you have a responsibility, one day someone somewhere is going to be exactly where you are, needing a friend like you. Our stories may not be the same… but I promise they are entwined…this is life, written on tattered pages, etched into our bones, and kept close like silhouettes. Our memories are of the ones we’ve lost, loved, and grown fond of…and passed on to others as inspiration. I am here, just like I promised and here you are? Let’s do this together because it’s about time that someone held you accountable to yourself. This world is not meant to be lived alone.
I’m not only offering my friendship but the companionship of others. This gift, it’s more like a concept that brings unity and purpose and allows you to be responsible for something bigger than you…create that drive, want, ambition, that reason to greet the day. My friend the world needs you, don’t you care to see it? Let’s own this pain, and move onto a selfless pursuit larger than we could possibly comprehend.
"Pain can't be avoided; it is nature's way of signaling that something is wrong. Rejecting reality turns pain into suffering."
-Marsha Linehan on Radical Acceptance -Byron Clinic
The reality is this, pain is subjective. I can't own yours...but I can tell you that you're not alone. Whoever popularized this concept of the lone wolf or "I can do it all by myself mentality", didn't care to read the rest of the story...and the ending is not very popular or pretty by opinion. So meet me here, in whatever storm that is being braved through, because circumstance does not hold title to whether or not you're going to change your life, only actions will. Let's get off this sick-cycle-carousel that's literally burning to the ground, the world needs your voice and gifts now more than ever. It's time we find that passion inside you.
I'll say it again, because I think you could appreciate it more…
“Fate has left me with a fury, and in this I found you.”
-Risto Heart
Ready to change your stars and reinvent yourself?
If owning your life, creating sustainable goals, finding a purpose, and holding yourself accountable sounds like something you need to do?
I'm creating a 10 day “Foundations Workshop” and need to know if you're interested?
To all my best,
-Risto Heart
Alright HERE. This is where I need your help, I'am currently in the process of making this workshop/guide/community/movement that is centered around accountability and reinventing yourself, followed by helping others in a selfless pursuit. If you felt compelled to actually get access, please send me a message.
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