Recently I have been getting a handle on my problems with social media. I am almost 20 years old and I did not manage to create lasting friendships besides the ones I met online lol.
I have always been a shy person, I had face-value friendships with little to no drama in school, but also no real connections. Got invited to some afterschool outings, but overall I felt like an outsider to the group.
Throughout my years of highschool, I had these friendly-acquantances added my frequent social media platforms (Snapchat & Instagram). I would get invited to some groupchats here and there, but I never understood what parts of me these people enjoyed seeing. I would get nervous and I remained silent often times and lost the chances of possibly creating lasting friendships in doing so.
I have had some people of this circle of friends show their true colors as time went on. There would be eventual rifts in what I thought was a somewhat secure friend circle (I mean it just happens to almost everyone). And I was too embarassed to unfriend some of these people on these platforms. I did not want to burn bridges and have my already obscurely known reputation be diminished by these people.
I have moved out of that area my last year of highschool, and I lost touch with most of these people, even ones I liked. Since then I spent a short year making new friends for a short while until graduation.
Now I'm in college and I haven't been able to make any true friends yet, but I am enjoying the free feeling of college life. Also I made entirely new social media accounts, and it is rewarding to not have to worry about what those previous people would say about my posts.
I have been learning about life as an adult, I enjoy the freeing feeling of not being pressured into needing tons of friends like I felt in highschool. Although, I still have times of feeling left out when I notice that I do not have a massive circle of friends. But I enjoy the select few that I managed to keep over the years.
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