I've been in a really bad state of mind/depression lately but I truly want to achieve my goals which I have set for myself a long ass time ago.
This quarantine, I have done nothing productive and it seriously disappoints me. And because I have been so disappointed in myself, I always felt like I was a negative/boring and unworthy person whenever I talked to my friends. It's like my disappointment just reflected onto how I perceive my friendships and I felt like until I become a more productive/better version of myself, that my friends won't care about me because I have am such a pathetic loser consumed by her depression.
So recently I had this motivation to become better and start being more productive but I feel like, mentally, my source of motivation has been me hoping to please and impress my friends? To show that I am worthy and to make sure they don't lose interest in me for being such a pathetic sad person lately? I feel that this way of thinking is so unhealthy and I wanna start being productive for myself only not to impress others and hoping to keep them around. I sound like I have major trust issues lol.
But I wanna be my own source of motivation, how do I do that?
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from Things that motivate you https://ift.tt/2Xptax2
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