What's the worst kind of feeling? When you lose something? When you didn't get what you wanted? No. The worst kind of feeling is when you're not understood. When you're hurting and you have so many problems going on inside of you but you can't talk to anyone about it because let's be honest in this modern world no one cares. It's all about themselves and no one ever stops to make sure the next person is okay. The worst kind of feeling is when you're heart broken and just broken in general and while you don't have any energy or motivation to get out of bed, you have a family who doesn't know what you're going through. You have a family who mocks you, yells at you, gets mad at you for mistakes, and just makes you feel useless. You're on the verge of stopping everything but you can't. Why? Because you know it won't do any good. You want to keep living just not this way. Not the life that you're living right now. But you can't change it. You live a life of pain. No parents, constantly heart broken, trust issues, self hatred, and the constant phrase "give it some time". That phrase is annoying. You're tired of that damn phrase constantly being said to you because you have given it some time but yet it gets worse. You hate when people say it gets better because it's all lies. You've waited years on end for it to get better but yet you still find yourself crying alone at night. Scared to tell anyone how you feel because they can use that against you. And while you're being torn apart limb by limb from this sadness the people who made you feel this way are out with friends and family smiling and being happy. Then look life gets better it's all changing you fall hard for this person but you can't tell them because everyone in the past rejected you harshly. Finally after thinking for a year you tell this person how you feel....it crumbles down as they reject you. Not again, please no. And what sucks is this time it's different this time even after the rejection you still keep falling for this person. It's love. You cant get over them. You think about them constantly and you're back to square one. The rainbows and sunshine crumble down to rain and thunder clouds. You realize it wasn't happiness it was just a small part where the walls you built so high blocked out the sadness and eventually you were so stupid to let the walls down for love. You sit there knowing that you will never get over this love and you lay alone at night crying wondering why is it me. Why? But you don't get mad at anyone. Why can't you get mad? Because you're the type of person who will walk through fire to make a person laugh. You would die as long as it meant the person you loved kept a smile on their face. And to what avail? You were told that even though they don't love you back at least you were there when they needed you. No. So what? That's basically saying "yea they never loved you, they only needed you but now they don't need you anymore so I guess it's time for you to go." You try to find something that makes you happy but to no success because by the end of the day you feel those tears start coming up again as you realize it's never going to get better. 5 years, 14 years, 20 years, on and on. The years will pass constantly but you will still be stuck in one spot waiting for it all to change until one day you are on your death bed. You look back and realize that you let this deep void of sadness consume your entire life and now it's the end. You were waiting for this right? But it doesn't feel right. You realize that you didn't want it to end. You wanted to live and be happy and you could've done that if you didn't let this large void take everything from you. It's too late now. Too late to change things. Too late to go to that girl and tell her "you don't like me but I will always love you. Even if you see me as a friend, I'll always be by your side." You realize that you let your sadness take over to the point that you drifted away from her. Away from everyone. You weren't there when that jerk broke her heart and you weren't there when that one friend needed someone and eventually ended it because they were alone. You realize that you hated those people who cared too much about themselves and yet you became one of them. You were so caught up in your head, so caught up in the pain that you lost more people over the years and you weren't there to save them. You're on a death bed and you look at this young grandchild. You look into their beautiful young eyes and see hope but it's glazed over by sadness. You whisper with the last bit of strength left and say "please. Be happy. Don't let the pain control you. Keep everyone close and don't have enemies have friends. Stay strong and help everyone in need. Be the hero no one knew they needed."....And you're gone. Years later there's a man he's standing at the edge of a building ready to end it all with tears in his eyes. Then he gets yanked off of the edge and through a window. He's in the arms of a young adult. He looks up and sees beautiful eyes. Full of hope. And they lean in a whisper "stay strong. Don't let the darkness control you." That man lived and many more lived by hearing those exact words. Because you. You beautiful creature. You once told a little child the wisest of words and even if you couldn't save anyone in your lifetime your words managed to save billions in someone else's lifetime. So I stand here today and say please be happy. Don't let the pain and darkness control you. Don't make enemies, make friends. And most importantly stay alive, stay strong, and keep it up. One day someone will love you and one day long after you're gone someone in the world will have had the gift of knowing you and will carry on your strength through generations to come. I love you. Everyone loves you. ❤❤
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from Things that motivate you https://ift.tt/3e95Z0n
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